Tidbits – Unraveling Relationships.

Relationships thrive when they enter the realms of total trust. It is the journey during the initial phase of a relationship, when it needs careful handling and constant nurturing to build that trust, that we focus on to unravel what makes or breaks it.

There are two forces at work during the building phase of a relationship that influences the amount of trust in the relationship – the Strength of Commitment and the perceived Pain of Compromise. The fact that there is an attempt to create, build, nurture and mature a relationship inherently means there is commitment at work and a realization that there is adjustments and common ground to be reached (hence the compromise parameter). It is in the magnitude and the balance (or imbalance) of the two forces, that the direction the relationship takes, is determined.

(Strength of Commitment) > (Pain of Compromise) = INCREASED TRUST

(Strength of Commitment) < (Pain of Compromise) = DECREASED TRUST

Relationships thrive when the strength of commitment, consistently and cumulatively, overpowers the pain of compromise. And they fall apart when the perceived pain of compromise is overbearing and eats into the strength of commitment. This is simple to understand because trust is the basis or the lowest common denominator in relationships and the quantum and magnitude of its presence determines strength of relationships.

What is also important to acknowledge is the presence of these forces and the fact that they are essential ingredients. If there were to be no perceived pain or compromise, a relationship would never have been tested. The fact that it has never been tested would breed doubt. And doubt obviously has an inverse correlation with trust. And an absence of commitment would entirely threaten the existence of a relationship in the first place.

The strength of commitment can be directly worked upon by sheer resolve. The pain of compromise can only be lessened indirectly by the acknowledgement of its existence and awareness of the arithmetic presented above.